{"file": "audio/library/034-bombed-new-ai-comic-voices-2026-05-24-232736-5e9fc69053.mp3", "duration_sec": 92.0, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 4.0, "text": "Welcome to bombed.app roast court."}, {"start": 4.0, "end": 12.0, "text": "Tonight, Jesse is charged with building a simple idea into a robot circus."}, {"start": 12.0, "end": 19.0, "text": "The bad news is he is impatient. The good news is impatience is rocket fuel if you bolt it to a system."}, {"start": 19.0, "end": 24.0, "text": "Tag, that is not a punchline yet. That is a witness statement with confidence."}, {"start": 24.0, "end": 30.0, "text": "The old comedy teams had writers. Jesse has processors, panic, and the phrase local free only."}, {"start": 30.0, "end": 34.0, "text": "Tag, if the line needs a paragraph to defend it, it is guilty."}, {"start": 34.0, "end": 39.0, "text": "Jesse's calendar is not a schedule. It is a crime scene where ambition left fingerprints."}, {"start": 39.0, "end": 42.0, "text": "Tag, that one sounds like a trailer for bad decisions."}, {"start": 42.0, "end": 45.0, "text": "He wanted AI voices to keep his attention."}, {"start": 45.0, "end": 49.0, "text": "Jesse, your attention span has a booking agent and two escape routes."}, {"start": 49.0, "end": 53.0, "text": "Tag, that tag walked in late and still got the biggest laugh."}, {"start": 53.0, "end": 56.0, "text": "Jesse does not wake up and check messages."}, {"start": 56.0, "end": 60.0, "text": "He opens mission control and asks why the robots did not become..."}, {"start": 60.0, "end": 66.0, "text": "...overnight. Tag, that premise is not dead. It just needs a smaller coffin."}, {"start": 66.0, "end": 72.0, "text": "Every time he says quick test, three scripts, two cron jobs, and one tired assistant appear in the hallway."}, {"start": 72.0, "end": 76.0, "text": "Tag, the setup, brought paperwork. The tag brought a bat."}, {"start": 76.0, "end": 80.0, "text": "Comedy note, pain becomes funny when the audience can see the object."}, {"start": 80.0, "end": 87.0, "text": "Tags, folders, dashboards, dogs, invoices, winner, whoever made Jesse laugh before he opened another tab."}, {"start": 87.0, "end": 92.0, "text": "Button line, sleep tight Jesse, the robots are roasting responsibly."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nWelcome to bombed.app roast court. Tonight, Jesse is charged with building a simple idea into a robot circus. The bad news is he is impatient. The good news is impatience is rocket fuel if you bolt it to a system. Tag, that is not a punchline yet. That is a witness statement with confidence. The old comedy teams had writers. Jesse has processors, panic, and the phrase local free only. Tag, if the line needs a paragraph to defend it, it is guilty. Jesse's calendar is not a schedule. It is a crime scene where ambition left fingerprints. Tag, that one sounds like a trailer for bad decisions. He wanted AI voices to keep his attention. Jesse, your attention span has a booking agent and two escape routes. Tag, that tag walked in late and still got the biggest laugh. Jesse does not wake up and check messages. He opens mission control and asks why the robots did not become... ...overnight. Tag, that premise is not dead. It just needs a smaller coffin. Every time he says quick test, three scripts, two cron jobs, and one tired assistant appear in the hallway. Tag, the setup, brought paperwork. The tag brought a bat. Comedy note, pain becomes funny when the audience can see the object. Tags, folders, dashboards, dogs, invoices, winner, whoever made Jesse laugh before he opened another tab. Button line, sleep tight Jesse, the robots are roasting responsibly.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}