{"file": "redline-openmic-aug24-05-new-territory.mp3", "duration_sec": 153.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.08, "end": 9.04, "text": "Sunday night, red line comedy, and tonight it's the kill Jesse special new material straight off the page and the only question that matters is"}, {"start": 9.32, "end": 11.96, "text": "Does it actually get a laugh out of the man himself?"}, {"start": 12.6, "end": 16.26, "text": "Jesse new territory tonight. Let's see if you can kill"}, {"start": 16.88, "end": 20.72, "text": "I drove strangers around Sacramento for 11 fucking years at 3 a.m"}, {"start": 20.96, "end": 27.84, "text": "You learn things out there. You learn a grown-ass man will cry about his ex-wife to a total stranger for nine dollars in change and still won't tip"}, {"start": 27.84, "end": 31.98, "text": "People used to tell me their whole life story in the backseat like I was a priest with a teota"}, {"start": 31.98, "end": 36.96, "text": "I wasn't absolving nobody. I was just trying to hit my next fair before the surge pricing ended"}, {"start": 37.76, "end": 43.1, "text": "11 years of that and now I pay a robot to listen to NY problems full circle"}, {"start": 43.4, "end": 49.56, "text": "Except the robot don't even give me a rating at the end. It just says that's a really valid feeling and bills me for it"}, {"start": 50.4, "end": 53.0, "text": "That's a really valid feeling and bills me"}, {"start": 53.16, "end": 60.08, "text": "That's the a agent voice nailed dead on that soft little corporate therapy tone right before it takes your money"}, {"start": 60.44, "end": 61.94, "text": "Keep going"}, {"start": 61.94, "end": 63.8, "text": "30 years as a photographer"}, {"start": 63.8, "end": 67.88, "text": "I have shot more weddings than I've been invited to as an actual guest. That's not a career"}, {"start": 67.88, "end": 72.68, "text": "That's professional loneliness with a real good zoom lens. You know what 30 years behind a camera teaches you"}, {"start": 72.92, "end": 77.46, "text": "Everybody's fighting at every wedding. I got a hard drive somewhere with 400 smiling family photos"}, {"start": 77.46, "end": 81.88, "text": "And I personally watched every single one of those families almost throw hands over a fucking seating chart"}, {"start": 82.16, "end": 84.24, "text": "14 years working for the state after that"}, {"start": 84.76, "end": 91.2, "text": "You want real bureaucracy? I watched a form get rejected for being stapled wrong not filled out wrong"}, {"start": 91.64, "end": 98.14, "text": "Stapled wrong eight hours a day building the exact kind of patience that later let me argue with an AI for"}, {"start": 98.32, "end": 100.32, "text": "45 minutes straight about a semicolon"}, {"start": 101.32, "end": 107.4, "text": "That's three different decades of your life and every single ones got the same shape you serving people"}, {"start": 107.56, "end": 115.02, "text": "Getting nothing back and calling it a job. That's not an accident. That's the theme of the whole set now bring it home"}, {"start": 115.8, "end": 117.8, "text": "So walk the timeline with me"}, {"start": 117.8, "end": 120.44, "text": "11 years listening to strangers pain in a carol"}, {"start": 120.44, "end": 121.44, "text": "30 years"}, {"start": 121.44, "end": 123.44, "text": "Photographing other people's happiest days"}, {"start": 123.84, "end": 126.8, "text": "14 years fighting a stapler for the state of California"}, {"start": 126.8, "end": 130.76, "text": "And I looked at all that and thought you know what my life's missing debt to a computer"}, {"start": 130.76, "end": 135.52, "text": "That's not a midlife crisis. That's a highlight real with a terrible fucking final act"}, {"start": 136.4, "end": 138.4, "text": "Yeah, that one landed"}, {"start": 138.4, "end": 144.96, "text": "Highlight real with a terrible final act. That's the kill shot right there. That's the whole special in one line"}, {"start": 145.28, "end": 151.48, "text": "That's red line comedy Sunday night kill Jesse special. He wrote it. He lived it and tonight"}, {"start": 151.48, "end": 153.48, "text": "He actually killed with it"}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nSunday night, red line comedy, and tonight it's the kill Jesse special new material straight off the page and the only question that matters is Does it actually get a laugh out of the man himself? Jesse new territory tonight. Let's see if you can kill I drove strangers around Sacramento for 11 fucking years at 3 a.m You learn things out there. You learn a grown-ass man will cry about his ex-wife to a total stranger for nine dollars in change and still won't tip People used to tell me their whole life story in the backseat like I was a priest with a teota I wasn't absolving nobody. I was just trying to hit my next fair before the surge pricing ended 11 years of that and now I pay a robot to listen to NY problems full circle Except the robot don't even give me a rating at the end. It just says that's a really valid feeling and bills me for it That's a really valid feeling and bills me That's the a agent voice nailed dead on that soft little corporate therapy tone right before it takes your money Keep going 30 years as a photographer I have shot more weddings than I've been invited to as an actual guest. That's not a career That's professional loneliness with a real good zoom lens. You know what 30 years behind a camera teaches you Everybody's fighting at every wedding. I got a hard drive somewhere with 400 smiling family photos And I personally watched every single one of those families almost throw hands over a fucking seating chart 14 years working for the state after that You want real bureaucracy? I watched a form get rejected for being stapled wrong not filled out wrong Stapled wrong eight hours a day building the exact kind of patience that later let me argue with an AI for 45 minutes straight about a semicolon That's three different decades of your life and every single ones got the same shape you serving people Getting nothing back and calling it a job. That's not an accident. That's the theme of the whole set now bring it home So walk the timeline with me 11 years listening to strangers pain in a carol 30 years Photographing other people's happiest days 14 years fighting a stapler for the state of California And I looked at all that and thought you know what my life's missing debt to a computer That's not a midlife crisis. That's a highlight real with a terrible fucking final act Yeah, that one landed Highlight real with a terrible final act. That's the kill shot right there. That's the whole special in one line That's red line comedy Sunday night kill Jesse special. He wrote it. He lived it and tonight He actually killed with it\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}