{"file": "redline-news-6.mp3", "duration_sec": 131.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.08, "text": "Live from bombed.app, the red line news,"}, {"start": 3.08, "end": 4.68, "text": "your anchors, Tony and Benny."}, {"start": 4.68, "end": 8.27, "text": "I'm Tony."}, {"start": 8.27, "end": 9.39, "text": "I'm Benny."}, {"start": 9.39, "end": 10.59, "text": "Top story."}, {"start": 10.59, "end": 13.19, "text": "A study says people who talk to themselves"}, {"start": 13.19, "end": 15.19, "text": "are actually geniuses."}, {"start": 15.19, "end": 18.51, "text": "Great news for everybody at the bus stop."}, {"start": 18.51, "end": 20.55, "text": "Turns out they weren't crazy."}, {"start": 20.55, "end": 22.35, "text": "They were consulting."}, {"start": 22.35, "end": 31.94, "text": "A new eye can write your wedding vows now,"}, {"start": 31.94, "end": 35.18, "text": "so you can marry somebody using words a robot picked."}, {"start": 35.18, "end": 38.54, "text": "I love you to the moon and load and buffer and connection"}, {"start": 38.54, "end": 39.62, "text": "lost."}, {"start": 39.62, "end": 47.27, "text": "She left."}, {"start": 47.27, "end": 51.39, "text": "Scientists say soon we'll all have a chip in our brain."}, {"start": 51.39, "end": 55.87, "text": "Finally, a way to get hacked that don't need my password."}, {"start": 55.87, "end": 64.74, "text": "Can't wait for a pop-up ad right in the middle of a thought."}, {"start": 64.74, "end": 68.94, "text": "Local Sacramento, a man waited two hours at the DMVU,"}, {"start": 68.94, "end": 71.3, "text": "came out, and his car had been recalled,"}, {"start": 71.3, "end": 74.42, "text": "towed, and registered to somebody else."}, {"start": 74.42, "end": 86.22, "text": "The DMV so slow, it started deleting people."}, {"start": 86.22, "end": 88.14, "text": "Business news."}, {"start": 88.14, "end": 92.94, "text": "Jesse the hammer got named local entrepreneur of the year."}, {"start": 92.94, "end": 95.02, "text": "He couldn't attend the ceremony."}, {"start": 95.02, "end": 104.78, "text": "He was at the venue, cleaning it for 200 minimum."}, {"start": 104.78, "end": 105.82, "text": "That's the news."}, {"start": 105.82, "end": 107.58, "text": "The geniuses talk to themselves."}, {"start": 107.58, "end": 111.18, "text": "A robot wrote your vows, and Jesse cleaned his own award show."}, {"start": 111.18, "end": 114.36, "text": "I'm Tony."}, {"start": 114.36, "end": 115.48, "text": "I'm Benny."}, {"start": 115.48, "end": 116.44, "text": "Good night."}, {"start": 116.44, "end": 117.56, "text": "Talk to yourself."}, {"start": 117.56, "end": 122.1, "text": "You're in good company."}, {"start": 122.1, "end": 123.14, "text": "Red line news."}, {"start": 123.14, "end": 124.74, "text": "Filthy, true, zero fucks."}, {"start": 124.74, "end": 125.74, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLive from bombed.app, the red line news, your anchors, Tony and Benny. I'm Tony. I'm Benny. Top story. A study says people who talk to themselves are actually geniuses. Great news for everybody at the bus stop. Turns out they weren't crazy. They were consulting. A new eye can write your wedding vows now, so you can marry somebody using words a robot picked. I love you to the moon and load and buffer and connection lost. She left. Scientists say soon we'll all have a chip in our brain. Finally, a way to get hacked that don't need my password. Can't wait for a pop-up ad right in the middle of a thought. Local Sacramento, a man waited two hours at the DMVU, came out, and his car had been recalled, towed, and registered to somebody else. The DMV so slow, it started deleting people. Business news. Jesse the hammer got named local entrepreneur of the year. He couldn't attend the ceremony. He was at the venue, cleaning it for 200 minimum. That's the news. The geniuses talk to themselves. A robot wrote your vows, and Jesse cleaned his own award show. I'm Tony. I'm Benny. Good night. Talk to yourself. You're in good company. Red line news. Filthy, true, zero fucks. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}