{"file": "redline-news-3.mp3", "duration_sec": 133.3, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 6.79, "text": "Live from bombed.app, the red line news, your anchors, Tony and Benny."}, {"start": 6.79, "end": 7.79, "text": "I'm Tony."}, {"start": 7.79, "end": 8.79, "text": "I'm Benny."}, {"start": 8.79, "end": 9.79, "text": "Top story."}, {"start": 9.79, "end": 14.79, "text": "Scientists say, A.I. will take half of all jobs in 10 years."}, {"start": 14.79, "end": 15.79, "text": "The other half."}, {"start": 15.79, "end": 18.79, "text": "Explain into the A.A. why it's wrong."}, {"start": 18.79, "end": 29.37, "text": "A new study found the average person checks their phone 300 times a day."}, {"start": 29.37, "end": 32.37, "text": "In related news, the average person is also miserable."}, {"start": 32.37, "end": 35.37, "text": "Researchers are baffled, staring at their phones,"}, {"start": 35.37, "end": 36.37, "text": "trying to figure out why."}, {"start": 36.37, "end": 49.75, "text": "Tech companies announced an A.I. that detects human emotion."}, {"start": 49.75, "end": 53.75, "text": "Finally, a robot that looks at you and goes,"}, {"start": 53.75, "end": 54.75, "text": "you're sad and broke."}, {"start": 54.75, "end": 57.75, "text": "Thanks, my ex did that for free."}, {"start": 57.75, "end": 67.1, "text": "Local Sacramento, gas at $6 a gallon."}, {"start": 67.1, "end": 71.1, "text": "A man was spotted pushing his truck to work to save fuel."}, {"start": 71.1, "end": 74.1, "text": "Witnesses say he was still less tired than his finances."}, {"start": 81.47, "end": 85.47, "text": "And in business, local cleaner, Jesse the hammer,"}, {"start": 85.47, "end": 91.47, "text": "closed the deal so fast the customer's still finding out about services he agreed to."}, {"start": 91.47, "end": 93.47, "text": "I didn't know I had a Tuesday plan."}, {"start": 93.47, "end": 97.47, "text": "One victim said, but my grouts never looked better."}, {"start": 97.47, "end": 105.97, "text": "That's the news."}, {"start": 105.97, "end": 108.97, "text": "The eyes take in your job, your phone's taking your soul,"}, {"start": 108.97, "end": 110.97, "text": "and Jesse's taking your Tuesday."}, {"start": 110.97, "end": 111.97, "text": "I'm Tony."}, {"start": 111.97, "end": 116.14, "text": "I'm Benny."}, {"start": 116.14, "end": 117.14, "text": "Good night."}, {"start": 117.14, "end": 119.14, "text": "I'm pushing your truck."}, {"start": 119.14, "end": 123.15, "text": "Not your luck."}, {"start": 123.15, "end": 124.15, "text": "Red line news."}, {"start": 124.15, "end": 126.15, "text": "Filthy true zero fucks."}, {"start": 126.15, "end": 127.15, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLive from bombed.app, the red line news, your anchors, Tony and Benny. I'm Tony. I'm Benny. Top story. Scientists say, A.I. will take half of all jobs in 10 years. The other half. Explain into the A.A. why it's wrong. A new study found the average person checks their phone 300 times a day. In related news, the average person is also miserable. Researchers are baffled, staring at their phones, trying to figure out why. Tech companies announced an A.I. that detects human emotion. Finally, a robot that looks at you and goes, you're sad and broke. Thanks, my ex did that for free. Local Sacramento, gas at $6 a gallon. A man was spotted pushing his truck to work to save fuel. Witnesses say he was still less tired than his finances. And in business, local cleaner, Jesse the hammer, closed the deal so fast the customer's still finding out about services he agreed to. I didn't know I had a Tuesday plan. One victim said, but my grouts never looked better. That's the news. The eyes take in your job, your phone's taking your soul, and Jesse's taking your Tuesday. I'm Tony. I'm Benny. Good night. I'm pushing your truck. Not your luck. Red line news. Filthy true zero fucks. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}