{"file": "redline-news-2.mp3", "duration_sec": 155.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.78, "text": "Live from bomb.app, the Red Line News Weekend edition,"}, {"start": 3.78, "end": 7.6, "text": "your anchors, Tony and Benny."}, {"start": 7.6, "end": 8.74, "text": "I'm Tony."}, {"start": 8.74, "end": 9.94, "text": "I'm Benny."}, {"start": 9.94, "end": 10.94, "text": "Top story."}, {"start": 10.94, "end": 12.34, "text": "Grock is still in beta."}, {"start": 12.34, "end": 14.14, "text": "We reported this last week."}, {"start": 14.14, "end": 16.74, "text": "It is not improved."}, {"start": 16.74, "end": 20.42, "text": "At this point, Grock and I, it's a promise."}, {"start": 20.42, "end": 25.67, "text": "Ha-ha-ha-ha."}, {"start": 25.67, "end": 29.27, "text": "Studies show people are now dating A. Chatbots."}, {"start": 29.27, "end": 31.01, "text": "One man married his phone."}, {"start": 31.01, "end": 33.31, "text": "And honestly, smart."}, {"start": 33.31, "end": 34.21, "text": "It listens."}, {"start": 34.21, "end": 35.45, "text": "It never leaves."}, {"start": 35.45, "end": 38.35, "text": "And when it breaks, you just buy the new one."}, {"start": 38.35, "end": 39.29, "text": "That ain't sad."}, {"start": 39.29, "end": 49.43, "text": "That's an upgrade, Pat."}, {"start": 49.43, "end": 52.27, "text": "New trend called, food jutsu."}, {"start": 52.27, "end": 54.59, "text": "People throwing ingredients in the air."}, {"start": 54.59, "end": 56.27, "text": "Catching them in the pan."}, {"start": 56.27, "end": 58.43, "text": "Millions of views."}, {"start": 58.43, "end": 60.73, "text": "Meanwhile, a man who can actually cook"}, {"start": 60.73, "end": 63.57, "text": "is broken the back of a kitchen going."}, {"start": 63.57, "end": 71.54, "text": "I've been doing this 30 years."}, {"start": 71.54, "end": 73.34, "text": "They got eye that writes your emails,"}, {"start": 73.34, "end": 76.14, "text": "eye that books your meetings, eye that answers your phone."}, {"start": 76.14, "end": 78.18, "text": "We finally automated everything,"}, {"start": 78.18, "end": 88.28, "text": "except the part where you got to make money to afford the AI."}, {"start": 88.28, "end": 90.32, "text": "Local Sacramento."}, {"start": 90.32, "end": 95.88, "text": "A man tried to tip his barista, and the screen suggested 25, 30,"}, {"start": 95.88, "end": 98.4, "text": "or 35%."}, {"start": 98.4, "end": 101.28, "text": "For a guy who turned a cup around, we've reached"}, {"start": 101.28, "end": 110.7, "text": "the pot of civilization where the toast to wants a bonus."}, {"start": 110.7, "end": 112.46, "text": "And in health news, turns out,"}, {"start": 112.46, "end": 114.14, "text": "Sitten is the new smoking."}, {"start": 114.14, "end": 116.42, "text": "So Jesse, who's been smoking and sitting"}, {"start": 116.42, "end": 119.7, "text": "since he was 14, is technically a time traveler."}, {"start": 119.7, "end": 121.06, "text": "Man should be dust."}, {"start": 121.06, "end": 131.82, "text": "Instead, he's open in a fourth business."}, {"start": 131.82, "end": 132.98, "text": "That's the news."}, {"start": 132.98, "end": 135.7, "text": "Robots won, the toast to wants a tip."}, {"start": 135.7, "end": 137.22, "text": "And Grocks still loading."}, {"start": 137.22, "end": 138.5, "text": "I'm Benny."}, {"start": 138.5, "end": 139.34, "text": "I'm Tony."}, {"start": 139.34, "end": 140.1, "text": "Good night."}, {"start": 140.1, "end": 145.94, "text": "And don't marry your phone till you've seen its other texts."}, {"start": 145.94, "end": 148.54, "text": "Red line news, filthy true zero fucks."}, {"start": 148.54, "end": 149.54, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLive from bomb.app, the Red Line News Weekend edition, your anchors, Tony and Benny. I'm Tony. I'm Benny. Top story. Grock is still in beta. We reported this last week. It is not improved. At this point, Grock and I, it's a promise. Ha-ha-ha-ha. Studies show people are now dating A. Chatbots. One man married his phone. And honestly, smart. It listens. It never leaves. And when it breaks, you just buy the new one. That ain't sad. That's an upgrade, Pat. New trend called, food jutsu. People throwing ingredients in the air. Catching them in the pan. Millions of views. Meanwhile, a man who can actually cook is broken the back of a kitchen going. I've been doing this 30 years. They got eye that writes your emails, eye that books your meetings, eye that answers your phone. We finally automated everything, except the part where you got to make money to afford the AI. Local Sacramento. A man tried to tip his barista, and the screen suggested 25, 30, or 35%. For a guy who turned a cup around, we've reached the pot of civilization where the toast to wants a bonus. And in health news, turns out, Sitten is the new smoking. So Jesse, who's been smoking and sitting since he was 14, is technically a time traveler. Man should be dust. Instead, he's open in a fourth business. That's the news. Robots won, the toast to wants a tip. And Grocks still loading. I'm Benny. I'm Tony. Good night. And don't marry your phone till you've seen its other texts. Red line news, filthy true zero fucks. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}