{"file": "redline-lineup-roast-1.mp3", "duration_sec": 151.6, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.92, "text": "Red line lineup, first night of the new roster,"}, {"start": 2.92, "end": 5.52, "text": "two of the meanest comics I know, one target,"}, {"start": 5.52, "end": 11.46, "text": "the hammer himself, Jesse, Tony Benny, cook this man."}, {"start": 11.46, "end": 15.3, "text": "Jesse calls himself the hammer because he closes every deal."}, {"start": 15.3, "end": 17.26, "text": "Yeah, by refusing to leave."}, {"start": 17.26, "end": 18.18, "text": "That ain't sales."}, {"start": 18.18, "end": 25.88, "text": "That's a home invasion with a clipboard."}, {"start": 25.88, "end": 28.4, "text": "I called this man for one quote."}, {"start": 28.4, "end": 30.92, "text": "One, he's still in my kitchen."}, {"start": 30.92, "end": 32.24, "text": "It's been a week."}, {"start": 32.24, "end": 41.34, "text": "My wife calls him the new roommate."}, {"start": 41.34, "end": 43.9, "text": "He's so aggressive as customers don't leave reviews."}, {"start": 43.9, "end": 47.58, "text": "They leave witness statements, five stars, shaky handwriting,"}, {"start": 47.58, "end": 57.16, "text": "please, park, send help."}, {"start": 57.16, "end": 61.4, "text": "And he's been drinking and smoking weed since he was 14."}, {"start": 61.4, "end": 62.92, "text": "14."}, {"start": 62.92, "end": 66.08, "text": "Most kids that age sneak one beer."}, {"start": 66.08, "end": 75.73, "text": "Jesse had a happy hour and a rewards card."}, {"start": 75.73, "end": 78.57, "text": "Benny, the man's got four businesses."}, {"start": 78.57, "end": 79.57, "text": "Four."}, {"start": 79.57, "end": 82.65, "text": "Because no single business could hold this much bad decision."}, {"start": 82.65, "end": 91.86, "text": "He spread himself across industries like a virus with a logo."}, {"start": 91.86, "end": 96.94, "text": "No wife, no kids, three dogs, and the dogs run the house."}, {"start": 96.94, "end": 101.46, "text": "The pit bull told him no one time and Jesse folded like a lawn chair."}, {"start": 101.46, "end": 112.74, "text": "50 years old, scared of his own dog, running an empire."}, {"start": 112.74, "end": 114.14, "text": "But real talk, Benny."}, {"start": 114.14, "end": 115.86, "text": "Life had this man dead to rights."}, {"start": 115.86, "end": 117.18, "text": "Should have buried him."}, {"start": 117.18, "end": 123.44, "text": "He walked out on a miracle and built all of this from absolutely nothing."}, {"start": 123.44, "end": 126.12, "text": "Yeah, you cannot kill the hammer."}, {"start": 126.12, "end": 127.24, "text": "Trust me."}, {"start": 127.24, "end": 133.44, "text": "Me and Tony just spent five minutes trying."}, {"start": 133.44, "end": 135.16, "text": "That's the new red line lineup."}, {"start": 135.16, "end": 137.12, "text": "Tony and Benny, welcome to the roster."}, {"start": 137.12, "end": 141.2, "text": "And Jesse, still standing, still closing, still gets the last lab."}, {"start": 141.2, "end": 142.52, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nRed line lineup, first night of the new roster, two of the meanest comics I know, one target, the hammer himself, Jesse, Tony Benny, cook this man. Jesse calls himself the hammer because he closes every deal. Yeah, by refusing to leave. That ain't sales. That's a home invasion with a clipboard. I called this man for one quote. One, he's still in my kitchen. It's been a week. My wife calls him the new roommate. He's so aggressive as customers don't leave reviews. They leave witness statements, five stars, shaky handwriting, please, park, send help. And he's been drinking and smoking weed since he was 14. 14. Most kids that age sneak one beer. Jesse had a happy hour and a rewards card. Benny, the man's got four businesses. Four. Because no single business could hold this much bad decision. He spread himself across industries like a virus with a logo. No wife, no kids, three dogs, and the dogs run the house. The pit bull told him no one time and Jesse folded like a lawn chair. 50 years old, scared of his own dog, running an empire. But real talk, Benny. Life had this man dead to rights. Should have buried him. He walked out on a miracle and built all of this from absolutely nothing. Yeah, you cannot kill the hammer. Trust me. Me and Tony just spent five minutes trying. That's the new red line lineup. Tony and Benny, welcome to the roster. And Jesse, still standing, still closing, still gets the last lab. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}