{"file": "redline-lineup-actout.mp3", "duration_sec": 184.1, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 4.68, "text": "Red line lineup full roster, but tonight no cheap one liners."}, {"start": 4.76, "end": 6.6, "text": "These comics are going to act it out."}, {"start": 6.68, "end": 8.52, "text": "Show you who Jesse really is."}, {"start": 8.6, "end": 10.0, "text": "Tony set the scene."}, {"start": 12.95, "end": 13.67, "text": "Picture it."}, {"start": 14.47, "end": 15.87, "text": "You call Jesse for a quote."}, {"start": 16.59, "end": 17.35, "text": "Just a quote."}, {"start": 17.79, "end": 18.87, "text": "He goes, great."}, {"start": 18.95, "end": 19.75, "text": "I'm outside."}, {"start": 20.35, "end": 21.59, "text": "You go outside."}, {"start": 22.47, "end": 24.67, "text": "Where he goes, your window."}, {"start": 25.27, "end": 26.11, "text": "Don't be scared."}, {"start": 26.15, "end": 26.95, "text": "Open the door."}, {"start": 27.75, "end": 28.43, "text": "You open it."}, {"start": 28.87, "end": 29.91, "text": "He's already got them up."}, {"start": 30.39, "end": 31.51, "text": "I haven't said yes."}, {"start": 31.79, "end": 32.51, "text": "He's mopping."}, {"start": 33.03, "end": 35.23, "text": "Sir, initial here."}, {"start": 35.95, "end": 36.71, "text": "You didn't hire him."}, {"start": 36.99, "end": 37.95, "text": "He occupied you."}, {"start": 45.94, "end": 50.02, "text": "I'm telling you, he came for a 10 minute quote three weeks ago."}, {"start": 50.74, "end": 51.74, "text": "He's still here."}, {"start": 52.34, "end": 53.58, "text": "My wife made him a plate."}, {"start": 54.14, "end": 56.62, "text": "The dog likes embedded in me last night."}, {"start": 56.9, "end": 57.66, "text": "2 a.m."}, {"start": 58.1, "end": 59.7, "text": "I hear him in the kitchen going."}, {"start": 59.98, "end": 62.38, "text": "This grout's been lying to all of us."}, {"start": 62.98, "end": 64.7, "text": "The man don't clean my house."}, {"start": 64.9, "end": 68.46, "text": "He lives in it now and honestly never looked better."}, {"start": 68.9, "end": 70.78, "text": "I'm scared to ask him to leave."}, {"start": 77.84, "end": 79.44, "text": "He shows up to clean in a suit."}, {"start": 79.8, "end": 81.44, "text": "Sits me down, pulls out a folder."}, {"start": 81.88, "end": 84.88, "text": "Before we begin, where do you see your bathroom in five years?"}, {"start": 84.88, "end": 86.48, "text": "I said, clean."}, {"start": 86.68, "end": 87.6, "text": "He goes wrong."}, {"start": 87.72, "end": 88.36, "text": "You see it, mine."}, {"start": 88.52, "end": 89.36, "text": "I signed something."}, {"start": 89.36, "end": 90.48, "text": "I don't know what I signed."}, {"start": 90.76, "end": 91.96, "text": "I think I worked for him now."}, {"start": 98.04, "end": 99.4, "text": "And he's high the whole time."}, {"start": 99.6, "end": 102.16, "text": "40 years deep scrubbing your baseboards,"}, {"start": 102.16, "end": 103.64, "text": "joint behind his ear, muttering."}, {"start": 104.0, "end": 105.76, "text": "The baseboards remember everything."}, {"start": 106.52, "end": 107.48, "text": "And the crazy part."}, {"start": 108.0, "end": 109.24, "text": "Best clean of your life."}, {"start": 109.52, "end": 111.52, "text": "The man found religion in your bathroom"}, {"start": 111.52, "end": 112.92, "text": "and he wasn't even looking for it."}, {"start": 120.0, "end": 121.6, "text": "You can't even cancel on him."}, {"start": 122.12, "end": 123.24, "text": "I tried to cancel."}, {"start": 123.48, "end": 124.48, "text": "He showed up anyway."}, {"start": 125.44, "end": 126.84, "text": "I heard you wanted to cancel."}, {"start": 127.36, "end": 128.4, "text": "I said, how do you?"}, {"start": 128.68, "end": 132.08, "text": "He goes, I always know that he cleaned my car."}, {"start": 132.36, "end": 133.08, "text": "Never asked."}, {"start": 133.44, "end": 134.6, "text": "It's just clean now."}, {"start": 134.8, "end": 137.4, "text": "I live in fear and a spotless camera."}, {"start": 145.55, "end": 146.87, "text": "But here's the thing about the hammer."}, {"start": 147.15, "end": 149.87, "text": "Life tried to bury this man through everything at him."}, {"start": 150.27, "end": 152.07, "text": "He looked down in the hole they dug for him."}, {"start": 152.39, "end": 155.03, "text": "Grabbed him up and started charging admission to the grave."}, {"start": 157.91, "end": 159.35, "text": "You cannot kill the hammer."}, {"start": 159.91, "end": 160.87, "text": "We tried."}, {"start": 161.63, "end": 163.19, "text": "He outscrubbed the grim reaper"}, {"start": 163.31, "end": 164.95, "text": "and handed him a quote on the way out."}, {"start": 168.62, "end": 169.82, "text": "That's the red line lineup."}, {"start": 170.14, "end": 171.5, "text": "Six deep, all killers."}, {"start": 171.7, "end": 172.14, "text": "Jesse."}, {"start": 172.5, "end": 173.74, "text": "Last laugh always."}, {"start": 173.9, "end": 174.66, "text": "Kill Jesse."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nRed line lineup full roster, but tonight no cheap one liners. These comics are going to act it out. Show you who Jesse really is. Tony set the scene. Picture it. You call Jesse for a quote. Just a quote. He goes, great. I'm outside. You go outside. Where he goes, your window. Don't be scared. Open the door. You open it. He's already got them up. I haven't said yes. He's mopping. Sir, initial here. You didn't hire him. He occupied you. I'm telling you, he came for a 10 minute quote three weeks ago. He's still here. My wife made him a plate. The dog likes embedded in me last night. 2 a.m. I hear him in the kitchen going. This grout's been lying to all of us. The man don't clean my house. He lives in it now and honestly never looked better. I'm scared to ask him to leave. He shows up to clean in a suit. Sits me down, pulls out a folder. Before we begin, where do you see your bathroom in five years? I said, clean. He goes wrong. You see it, mine. I signed something. I don't know what I signed. I think I worked for him now. And he's high the whole time. 40 years deep scrubbing your baseboards, joint behind his ear, muttering. The baseboards remember everything. And the crazy part. Best clean of your life. The man found religion in your bathroom and he wasn't even looking for it. You can't even cancel on him. I tried to cancel. He showed up anyway. I heard you wanted to cancel. I said, how do you? He goes, I always know that he cleaned my car. Never asked. It's just clean now. I live in fear and a spotless camera. But here's the thing about the hammer. Life tried to bury this man through everything at him. He looked down in the hole they dug for him. Grabbed him up and started charging admission to the grave. You cannot kill the hammer. We tried. He outscrubbed the grim reaper and handed him a quote on the way out. That's the red line lineup. Six deep, all killers. Jesse. Last laugh always. Kill Jesse.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}