{"file": "LANE6_ADVICE_COLUMN_TG.mp3", "duration_sec": 58.5, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 2.74, "text": "Time for Ask Trailer Guy, you desperate bastards."}, {"start": 2.74, "end": 3.88, "text": "Send me your problems."}, {"start": 3.88, "end": 6.52, "text": "I'll send back the truth wrapped in an insult."}, {"start": 6.52, "end": 9.08, "text": "Question, trailer guy, my girlfriend says"}, {"start": 9.08, "end": 10.88, "text": "I got a commitment problem."}, {"start": 10.88, "end": 12.3, "text": "Should I be worried?"}, {"start": 12.3, "end": 13.44, "text": "Answer."}, {"start": 13.44, "end": 16.28, "text": "Only if you're also worried about the 16 unfinished"}, {"start": 16.28, "end": 18.86, "text": "home improvement projects, the gym membership"}, {"start": 18.86, "end": 21.84, "text": "you started using next week since damn March,"}, {"start": 21.84, "end": 25.0, "text": "and the fact you're asking an AI for relationship advice"}, {"start": 25.0, "end": 27.44, "text": "instead of just asking her."}, {"start": 27.44, "end": 29.52, "text": "You don't got a commitment problem dumbass."}, {"start": 29.52, "end": 31.16, "text": "You got to follow through problem wearing"}, {"start": 31.16, "end": 33.24, "text": "a commitment problems jacket."}, {"start": 33.24, "end": 36.04, "text": "Question, is it bad that I laugh at my own jokes"}, {"start": 36.04, "end": 38.2, "text": "before I even finish telling them?"}, {"start": 38.2, "end": 39.52, "text": "Answer, no."}, {"start": 39.52, "end": 42.4, "text": "It's bad that you're apparently the only one laughing."}, {"start": 42.4, "end": 43.76, "text": "Different problem, buddy."}, {"start": 43.76, "end": 44.96, "text": "Sit with that."}, {"start": 44.96, "end": 48.6, "text": "Question, how do I know if I'm actually funny or just loud?"}, {"start": 48.6, "end": 52.0, "text": "Answer, easy test dumbass, get quiet."}, {"start": 52.0, "end": 53.6, "text": "If people lean in, you're funny."}, {"start": 53.6, "end": 56.72, "text": "If people also get quiet, you are never the joke."}, {"start": 56.72, "end": 58.24, "text": "You are the noise complaint."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nTime for Ask Trailer Guy, you desperate bastards. Send me your problems. I'll send back the truth wrapped in an insult. Question, trailer guy, my girlfriend says I got a commitment problem. Should I be worried? Answer. Only if you're also worried about the 16 unfinished home improvement projects, the gym membership you started using next week since damn March, and the fact you're asking an AI for relationship advice instead of just asking her. You don't got a commitment problem dumbass. You got to follow through problem wearing a commitment problems jacket. Question, is it bad that I laugh at my own jokes before I even finish telling them? Answer, no. It's bad that you're apparently the only one laughing. Different problem, buddy. Sit with that. Question, how do I know if I'm actually funny or just loud? Answer, easy test dumbass, get quiet. If people lean in, you're funny. If people also get quiet, you are never the joke. You are the noise complaint.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}