{"file": "LANE3_CAST_BIOS_TG.mp3", "duration_sec": 87.8, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 3.28, "text": "Let me run you filthy degenerates through the cast real quick."}, {"start": 3.28, "end": 6.22, "text": "Trailer guy, that's me dumbass."}, {"start": 6.22, "end": 8.14, "text": "Voice of the whole damn club."}, {"start": 8.14, "end": 9.88, "text": "I claim I've hosted everywhere."}, {"start": 9.88, "end": 11.86, "text": "I will not specify where."}, {"start": 11.86, "end": 17.04, "text": "Origin unknown, opinions endless, and I'm contractually obligated to sound excited about"}, {"start": 17.04, "end": 19.72, "text": "everything, including tragedy."}, {"start": 19.72, "end": 20.72, "text": "Somebody's grandma dies."}, {"start": 20.72, "end": 23.04, "text": "I still gotta go give it up."}, {"start": 23.04, "end": 24.36, "text": "Mickey Vance."}, {"start": 24.36, "end": 29.4, "text": "Self-appointed judge of your jokes, PG-13 Roaster, which around here is basically being a nun,"}, {"start": 29.4, "end": 34.46, "text": "signs off every roast with, you're welcome, whether you asked his ass or not, nobody has"}, {"start": 34.46, "end": 37.14, "text": "ever once seen this motherfucker laugh."}, {"start": 37.14, "end": 40.64, "text": "Just a slow nod like he's grading a paper he already hates."}, {"start": 40.64, "end": 46.54, "text": "Oggie Keane, the craft-note guy, talks about your setup like it owes him money."}, {"start": 46.54, "end": 50.5, "text": "Never told one joke on this stage in his life, nobody's even sure he's funny."}, {"start": 50.5, "end": 52.16, "text": "He says that ain't his department."}, {"start": 52.16, "end": 55.5, "text": "His department's making you feel bad about yours."}, {"start": 55.5, "end": 56.58, "text": "Ballistic."}, {"start": 56.58, "end": 61.96, "text": "New host does the live interviews escalates every conversation till somebody either laughs"}, {"start": 61.96, "end": 63.68, "text": "or walks the hell out."}, {"start": 63.68, "end": 65.86, "text": "Nobody knows his real name."}, {"start": 65.86, "end": 70.96, "text": "He'd tell you, but then he'd have to make a joke about it and he ain't ready and honestly,"}, {"start": 70.96, "end": 72.5, "text": "neither are we."}, {"start": 72.5, "end": 78.6, "text": "And Jesse, shit, Midas, the guy this whole filthy shows about allegedly, touches a bad idea."}, {"start": 78.6, "end": 79.96, "text": "It becomes content."}, {"start": 79.96, "end": 82.64, "text": "Touches a good idea, same damn thing."}, {"start": 82.64, "end": 86.72, "text": "Nobody's sure if that's a superpower or just what happens when a broke man refuses to"}, {"start": 86.72, "end": 87.16, "text": "quit."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nLet me run you filthy degenerates through the cast real quick. Trailer guy, that's me dumbass. Voice of the whole damn club. I claim I've hosted everywhere. I will not specify where. Origin unknown, opinions endless, and I'm contractually obligated to sound excited about everything, including tragedy. Somebody's grandma dies. I still gotta go give it up. Mickey Vance. Self-appointed judge of your jokes, PG-13 Roaster, which around here is basically being a nun, signs off every roast with, you're welcome, whether you asked his ass or not, nobody has ever once seen this motherfucker laugh. Just a slow nod like he's grading a paper he already hates. Oggie Keane, the craft-note guy, talks about your setup like it owes him money. Never told one joke on this stage in his life, nobody's even sure he's funny. He says that ain't his department. His department's making you feel bad about yours. Ballistic. New host does the live interviews escalates every conversation till somebody either laughs or walks the hell out. Nobody knows his real name. He'd tell you, but then he'd have to make a joke about it and he ain't ready and honestly, neither are we. And Jesse, shit, Midas, the guy this whole filthy shows about allegedly, touches a bad idea. It becomes content. Touches a good idea, same damn thing. Nobody's sure if that's a superpower or just what happens when a broke man refuses to quit.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}