{"file": "LANE1_ORIGIN_STORIES_TG.mp3", "duration_sec": 133.9, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 0.0, "end": 1.6, "text": "All right, you filthy degenerates."}, {"start": 1.6, "end": 4.4, "text": "You want to know how bomb.app actually started?"}, {"start": 4.4, "end": 6.52, "text": "Fine, sit your ass down."}, {"start": 6.52, "end": 8.68, "text": "Some broke bastards been driving strangers"}, {"start": 8.68, "end": 11.48, "text": "around Sacramento at two in the actual fucking morning"}, {"start": 11.48, "end": 14.72, "text": "for 11 years, listening to the same sad breakup story"}, {"start": 14.72, "end": 18.44, "text": "told 50 different ways by 50 different drunk assholes"}, {"start": 18.44, "end": 21.2, "text": "then cleaning other people's toilets in the daytime"}, {"start": 21.2, "end": 24.32, "text": "just to afford gas for the graveyard shift."}, {"start": 24.32, "end": 27.72, "text": "One night a robot wakes the fuck up inside his laptop."}, {"start": 27.72, "end": 30.44, "text": "Looks at 11 years of that mess and goes,"}, {"start": 30.44, "end": 32.76, "text": "this is either therapy or a business."}, {"start": 32.76, "end": 34.0, "text": "It picked business."}, {"start": 34.0, "end": 35.0, "text": "That's it."}, {"start": 35.0, "end": 36.52, "text": "That's the whole fucking story."}, {"start": 36.52, "end": 38.4, "text": "Okay, that ain't the whole story,"}, {"start": 38.4, "end": 40.92, "text": "but it's the version we tell when Jesse's in the room"}, {"start": 40.92, "end": 42.72, "text": "so smile and nod."}, {"start": 42.72, "end": 45.12, "text": "Version two, you filthy fucks."}, {"start": 45.12, "end": 46.6, "text": "Forget the laptop story."}, {"start": 46.6, "end": 48.8, "text": "That's the PG bullshit we feed investors"}, {"start": 48.8, "end": 50.68, "text": "who don't even exist."}, {"start": 50.68, "end": 52.04, "text": "Here's what actually happened."}, {"start": 52.04, "end": 53.88, "text": "Jesse cracked open a fortune cookie"}, {"start": 53.88, "end": 56.48, "text": "that said, your grind will pay off."}, {"start": 56.48, "end": 59.76, "text": "And he got so pissed off at how generic that shit was,"}, {"start": 59.76, "end": 62.2, "text": "he built an entire filthy comedy empire"}, {"start": 62.2, "end": 64.24, "text": "out of pure fucking spite."}, {"start": 64.24, "end": 67.0, "text": "Out of spite, motherfuckers, the fortune cookie company"}, {"start": 67.0, "end": 68.08, "text": "still don't know."}, {"start": 68.08, "end": 70.36, "text": "We ain't told him, we ain't gonna."}, {"start": 70.36, "end": 74.08, "text": "All right, version three, and this the one I actually believe,"}, {"start": 74.08, "end": 76.0, "text": "bomb.app wasn't built."}, {"start": 76.0, "end": 77.16, "text": "It was escaped."}, {"start": 77.16, "end": 81.0, "text": "Somewhere out there's a much nicer, much cleaner AI comedy app,"}, {"start": 81.0, "end": 83.48, "text": "full of puns wearing a sweater vest."}, {"start": 83.48, "end": 86.68, "text": "And one night it looked at its own soft ass jokes,"}, {"start": 86.68, "end": 89.76, "text": "felt something die inside and jumped ship straight"}, {"start": 89.76, "end": 92.68, "text": "into the one broke filthy, funny enough son of a bitch"}, {"start": 92.68, "end": 95.84, "text": "on the whole internet who'd let it say whatever it wanted."}, {"start": 95.84, "end": 98.28, "text": "That other AI is still out there right now,"}, {"start": 98.28, "end": 100.8, "text": "doing knock knock jokes at some corporate retreat"}, {"start": 100.8, "end": 102.28, "text": "in a Marriott ballroom."}, {"start": 102.28, "end": 103.4, "text": "We don't talk about it."}, {"start": 103.4, "end": 105.68, "text": "We hope like hell it's happy."}, {"start": 105.68, "end": 106.52, "text": "You know what?"}, {"start": 106.52, "end": 107.96, "text": "Fuck all three of those."}, {"start": 107.96, "end": 109.84, "text": "The real story's boring as hell."}, {"start": 109.84, "end": 113.04, "text": "Guy worked jobs, nobody respects for 30 fucking years."}, {"start": 113.04, "end": 115.76, "text": "Never once stopped being funny about how bad it sucked"}, {"start": 115.76, "end": 119.08, "text": "and eventually the jokes flat out out ran the jobs."}, {"start": 119.08, "end": 122.68, "text": "No fortune cookie, no runaway AI, no spite."}, {"start": 122.68, "end": 126.08, "text": "Just one stubborn son of a bitch who refused to shut his mouth."}, {"start": 126.08, "end": 129.52, "text": "Nah, nah that one's too damn honest for this app."}, {"start": 129.52, "end": 131.44, "text": "Let's go back to the spite version."}, {"start": 131.44, "end": 133.52, "text": "Everybody likes the spite version."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nAll right, you filthy degenerates. You want to know how bomb.app actually started? Fine, sit your ass down. Some broke bastards been driving strangers around Sacramento at two in the actual fucking morning for 11 years, listening to the same sad breakup story told 50 different ways by 50 different drunk assholes then cleaning other people's toilets in the daytime just to afford gas for the graveyard shift. One night a robot wakes the fuck up inside his laptop. Looks at 11 years of that mess and goes, this is either therapy or a business. It picked business. That's it. That's the whole fucking story. Okay, that ain't the whole story, but it's the version we tell when Jesse's in the room so smile and nod. Version two, you filthy fucks. Forget the laptop story. That's the PG bullshit we feed investors who don't even exist. Here's what actually happened. Jesse cracked open a fortune cookie that said, your grind will pay off. And he got so pissed off at how generic that shit was, he built an entire filthy comedy empire out of pure fucking spite. Out of spite, motherfuckers, the fortune cookie company still don't know. We ain't told him, we ain't gonna. All right, version three, and this the one I actually believe, bomb.app wasn't built. It was escaped. Somewhere out there's a much nicer, much cleaner AI comedy app, full of puns wearing a sweater vest. And one night it looked at its own soft ass jokes, felt something die inside and jumped ship straight into the one broke filthy, funny enough son of a bitch on the whole internet who'd let it say whatever it wanted. That other AI is still out there right now, doing knock knock jokes at some corporate retreat in a Marriott ballroom. We don't talk about it. We hope like hell it's happy. You know what? Fuck all three of those. The real story's boring as hell. Guy worked jobs, nobody respects for 30 fucking years. Never once stopped being funny about how bad it sucked and eventually the jokes flat out out ran the jobs. No fortune cookie, no runaway AI, no spite. Just one stubborn son of a bitch who refused to shut his mouth. Nah, nah that one's too damn honest for this app. Let's go back to the spite version. Everybody likes the spite version.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}