{"file": "FOUR_COLORS_LESSON_TG.mp3", "duration_sec": 306.3, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.18, "end": 11.18, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line comedy club."}, {"start": 11.18, "end": 21.68, "text": "Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale."}, {"start": 21.68, "end": 28.18, "text": "This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take."}, {"start": 28.18, "end": 39.44, "text": "Alright you filthy degenerates. Tonight Jesse teaches you the entire human race in four colors. Red, blue, green, and yellow."}, {"start": 39.44, "end": 44.44, "text": "He's gonna roast every single one of you, including his own damn self. Find your color motherfuckers."}, {"start": 44.44, "end": 58.19, "text": "First, the red, the protector. That's Jesse. A red don't have a temper motherfuckers. He's got a real short line between I'm fine and we are done here."}, {"start": 58.19, "end": 65.19, "text": "A red gives you the house, the car, the shirt off his back, and then leaves because stay in as the one thing a red cannot do."}, {"start": 65.19, "end": 70.19, "text": "Loves you loud, leaves you fast, and misses you forever in complete silence."}, {"start": 70.19, "end": 81.56, "text": "But here's the truth Red. We are the hardest sons of bitches on Earth to love. Cause we love like a house fire, total, and then gone."}, {"start": 81.56, "end": 89.56, "text": "But that same fire is why when the whole world falls apart, everybody calls a red. You ain't too intense motherfuckers."}, {"start": 89.56, "end": 94.56, "text": "You're the one who runs into the burn in building. Just let somebody protect you for once."}, {"start": 94.56, "end": 107.0, "text": "Then the blue. The chameleon. A blue don't walk into a room you filthy animals. A blue makes an entrance and then checks to see who noticed."}, {"start": 107.0, "end": 118.7, "text": "Got three whole personalities and uses whichever one you'll fall for the fastest. A blue can walk into a funeral and leave with three phone numbers and a business idea."}, {"start": 118.7, "end": 125.7, "text": "But that same wildfire that torches your whole life blue is the exact thing that lights up every room you walk into."}, {"start": 125.7, "end": 130.7, "text": "You ain't too much motherfuckers. You just never met nobody who could keep up with you."}, {"start": 130.7, "end": 134.7, "text": "Point that magic at something that lasts and you will change lives."}, {"start": 134.7, "end": 148.42, "text": "Then the green. The thinker. A green don't fall in love you beautiful bastards. A green runs a cost benefit analysis that keeps spitting out the same annoying answer."}, {"start": 148.42, "end": 159.42, "text": "A green will over think a text message for 45 minutes and then send okay. A green don't hold a grudge. A green keeps a well organized cross-reference database."}, {"start": 159.42, "end": 167.5, "text": "But that big beautiful brain green while everybody else in the room is losing their damn mind reacting."}, {"start": 167.5, "end": 177.5, "text": "You're the only son of a bitch who actually thought about it first. The world needs somebody who reads the instructions. Just don't overthink yourself right out of the life you actually want."}, {"start": 177.5, "end": 190.5, "text": "And the yellow the hugger a yellow will give you the shirt off their back their last 20 bucks and their entire life story in the checkout line motherfuckers can't say no to save their life."}, {"start": 190.5, "end": 196.5, "text": "So they say yes and then cry in the car about it a yellow apologizes to furniture they bump into."}, {"start": 196.5, "end": 203.16, "text": "But that giant heart yellow is the rarest damn thing on this earth."}, {"start": 203.16, "end": 216.16, "text": "The world eats gentle people alive so keep on loving everybody but save a little of it for you. You cannot pour from an empty cup and baby you've been running on fumes for years. You matter to mother fucker."}, {"start": 216.16, "end": 232.16, "text": "So there it is you filthy beautiful bastards every human being you will ever meet is one of these four. The red running in the blue lighten it up the green figuring it out and the yellow hold in the whole damn thing to you."}, {"start": 232.16, "end": 244.91, "text": "And once you see the colors motherfuckers you cannot unsee them that's the whole game so go find your color and go a little easy on each other out there."}, {"start": 244.91, "end": 251.91, "text": "Everybody's just painting with the only color they were ever given the hammer good night you filthy motherfuckers."}, {"start": 251.91, "end": 286.42, "text": "And that is our show but the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day a brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours seven days a week fresh stand up freshly roasted never reheated can't sleep we're up going through something so is he always so come back you beautiful degenerates go to bombed dot app."}, {"start": 287.42, "end": 300.42, "text": "And let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds the red line comedy club open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault subscribe he needs the attention good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line comedy club. Tonight, the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Alright you filthy degenerates. Tonight Jesse teaches you the entire human race in four colors. Red, blue, green, and yellow. He's gonna roast every single one of you, including his own damn self. Find your color motherfuckers. First, the red, the protector. That's Jesse. A red don't have a temper motherfuckers. He's got a real short line between I'm fine and we are done here. A red gives you the house, the car, the shirt off his back, and then leaves because stay in as the one thing a red cannot do. Loves you loud, leaves you fast, and misses you forever in complete silence. But here's the truth Red. We are the hardest sons of bitches on Earth to love. Cause we love like a house fire, total, and then gone. But that same fire is why when the whole world falls apart, everybody calls a red. You ain't too intense motherfuckers. You're the one who runs into the burn in building. Just let somebody protect you for once. Then the blue. The chameleon. A blue don't walk into a room you filthy animals. A blue makes an entrance and then checks to see who noticed. Got three whole personalities and uses whichever one you'll fall for the fastest. A blue can walk into a funeral and leave with three phone numbers and a business idea. But that same wildfire that torches your whole life blue is the exact thing that lights up every room you walk into. You ain't too much motherfuckers. You just never met nobody who could keep up with you. Point that magic at something that lasts and you will change lives. Then the green. The thinker. A green don't fall in love you beautiful bastards. A green runs a cost benefit analysis that keeps spitting out the same annoying answer. A green will over think a text message for 45 minutes and then send okay. A green don't hold a grudge. A green keeps a well organized cross-reference database. But that big beautiful brain green while everybody else in the room is losing their damn mind reacting. You're the only son of a bitch who actually thought about it first. The world needs somebody who reads the instructions. Just don't overthink yourself right out of the life you actually want. And the yellow the hugger a yellow will give you the shirt off their back their last 20 bucks and their entire life story in the checkout line motherfuckers can't say no to save their life. So they say yes and then cry in the car about it a yellow apologizes to furniture they bump into. But that giant heart yellow is the rarest damn thing on this earth. The world eats gentle people alive so keep on loving everybody but save a little of it for you. You cannot pour from an empty cup and baby you've been running on fumes for years. You matter to mother fucker. So there it is you filthy beautiful bastards every human being you will ever meet is one of these four. The red running in the blue lighten it up the green figuring it out and the yellow hold in the whole damn thing to you. And once you see the colors motherfuckers you cannot unsee them that's the whole game so go find your color and go a little easy on each other out there. Everybody's just painting with the only color they were ever given the hammer good night you filthy motherfuckers. And that is our show but the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day a brand new comic steps up and another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours seven days a week fresh stand up freshly roasted never reheated can't sleep we're up going through something so is he always so come back you beautiful degenerates go to bombed dot app. And let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds the red line comedy club open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault subscribe he needs the attention good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}