{"file": "CUSS_MASTERCLASS_2_TG.mp3", "duration_sec": 269.7, "language": "en", "segments": [{"start": 4.18, "end": 9.7, "text": "In a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the"}, {"start": 9.7, "end": 11.7, "text": "Red Line Comedy Club."}, {"start": 11.7, "end": 16.94, "text": "Tonight the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup"}, {"start": 16.94, "end": 21.18, "text": "of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary"}, {"start": 21.18, "end": 22.18, "text": "tale."}, {"start": 22.18, "end": 24.18, "text": "This is Kill Jesse."}, {"start": 24.18, "end": 25.58, "text": "Please silence your phones."}, {"start": 25.58, "end": 27.02, "text": "We tried to silence him."}, {"start": 27.02, "end": 32.05, "text": "It did not take."}, {"start": 32.05, "end": 35.81, "text": "Welcome back to Filth University, you filthy degenerates."}, {"start": 35.81, "end": 37.45, "text": "This class was the technique."}, {"start": 37.45, "end": 42.49, "text": "Tonight the vocabulary, the x-rated dictionary, take out your dick and a pencil, because"}, {"start": 42.49, "end": 47.6, "text": "class is in session."}, {"start": 47.6, "end": 53.12, "text": "Every filthy education starts with the big four motherfuckers, fuck shit, cock and pussy."}, {"start": 53.12, "end": 54.88, "text": "Learn them, love them, live them."}, {"start": 54.88, "end": 62.18, "text": "That's the alphabet of assholes, and you cannot graduate without it."}, {"start": 62.18, "end": 66.78, "text": "But a master don't use single words, you filthy animals, a master builds."}, {"start": 66.78, "end": 72.54, "text": "Take two ugly things and smash them together, cock plus weasel, cock weasel, shit plus"}, {"start": 72.54, "end": 78.14, "text": "goblin, shit goblin, dick plus drizzle, dick drizzle."}, {"start": 78.14, "end": 84.56, "text": "That's how you insult a man in a way he'll remember at his own funeral."}, {"start": 84.56, "end": 89.84, "text": "Here's the recipe for a brand new cuss, you degenerates, body part, plus a disgusting little"}, {"start": 89.84, "end": 94.52, "text": "animal, crotch gremlin, ass barnacle, taint badger."}, {"start": 94.52, "end": 103.7, "text": "Congratulations motherfuckers, you just cussed in a way that has never existed in human history."}, {"start": 103.7, "end": 106.3, "text": "And don't you ever call a man stupid?"}, {"start": 106.3, "end": 107.46, "text": "That's for children."}, {"start": 107.46, "end": 112.54, "text": "Call him a come brained fuck knuckle who couldn't find his own dick with two hands and a flashlight."}, {"start": 112.54, "end": 119.39, "text": "Specificity you beautiful bastards, detail is respect."}, {"start": 119.39, "end": 122.87, "text": "Advance move, sometimes the filthiest words are love."}, {"start": 122.87, "end": 127.71, "text": "You magnificent bastard, you beautiful filthy son of a bitch, get over here you glorious"}, {"start": 127.71, "end": 128.99, "text": "twat waffle."}, {"start": 128.99, "end": 135.07, "text": "In this family motherfuckers that's a hug."}, {"start": 135.07, "end": 141.39, "text": "And when one cuss ain't enough, you escalate, start at damn, climb to shit and sum it at"}, {"start": 141.39, "end": 144.47, "text": "you absolute festering come trumpet."}, {"start": 144.47, "end": 152.5, "text": "You don't just insult a man, you take him on a journey, you filthy animals."}, {"start": 152.5, "end": 155.58, "text": "Now the bedrooms got its own dialect motherfuckers."}, {"start": 155.58, "end": 160.3, "text": "Jesse's got 47 names for his own dick and not one of them is accurate, used to call"}, {"start": 160.3, "end": 162.34, "text": "it the Sacramento slammer."}, {"start": 162.34, "end": 167.98, "text": "At 50 years old, it's more like the Sacramento Napper."}, {"start": 167.98, "end": 173.1, "text": "Tonight's brand new cuss, fresh off the assembly line, you filthy bastards."}, {"start": 173.1, "end": 177.94, "text": "Fuck Wombel, that's for a man who ain't just an idiot, he's ambitiously stupid."}, {"start": 177.94, "end": 185.74, "text": "That fuck Wombel parked across two handicap spots to buy one lottery ticket."}, {"start": 185.74, "end": 189.54, "text": "And here's the lesson under all the filth, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 189.54, "end": 193.22, "text": "Cussin ain't about being angry, it's about being alive."}, {"start": 193.22, "end": 198.3, "text": "A good cuss is a little scream of joy in a world that's trying to make you polite."}, {"start": 198.3, "end": 204.18, "text": "Jesse never learned polite, he learned filthy and he's happier than every buttoned up motherfucker"}, {"start": 204.18, "end": 207.78, "text": "in the room."}, {"start": 207.78, "end": 212.78, "text": "Class dismissed, you glorious fuck Wombels, go forth and pollute the language beautifully,"}, {"start": 212.78, "end": 213.78, "text": "the hammer."}, {"start": 213.78, "end": 222.19, "text": "Good night, you filthy motherfuckers."}, {"start": 222.19, "end": 224.51, "text": "And that is our show."}, {"start": 224.51, "end": 230.95, "text": "But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day, a brand"}, {"start": 230.95, "end": 232.71, "text": "new comic steps up."}, {"start": 232.71, "end": 238.39, "text": "And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week, fresh"}, {"start": 238.39, "end": 241.95, "text": "stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated."}, {"start": 241.95, "end": 243.99, "text": "Can't sleep, we're up."}, {"start": 243.99, "end": 247.31, "text": "Going through something, so is he, always."}, {"start": 247.31, "end": 249.63, "text": "So come back, you beautiful degenerates."}, {"start": 249.63, "end": 254.99, "text": "Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds, the red line"}, {"start": 254.99, "end": 261.23, "text": "comedy club open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault."}, {"start": 261.23, "end": 263.75, "text": "Subscribe, he needs the attention."}, {"start": 263.75, "end": 264.11, "text": "Good night."}], "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.", "rights": "Original work. Not licensed for reuse, redistribution, resale, or model training.", "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.", "text": "[ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.]\n\nIn a world where one man turned his entire breakdown into a business model, welcome to the Red Line Comedy Club. Tonight the only stage on Earth where the headliner pays to get destroyed, featuring a lineup of comedians who are technically software and one man who is technically a cautionary tale. This is Kill Jesse. Please silence your phones. We tried to silence him. It did not take. Welcome back to Filth University, you filthy degenerates. This class was the technique. Tonight the vocabulary, the x-rated dictionary, take out your dick and a pencil, because class is in session. Every filthy education starts with the big four motherfuckers, fuck shit, cock and pussy. Learn them, love them, live them. That's the alphabet of assholes, and you cannot graduate without it. But a master don't use single words, you filthy animals, a master builds. Take two ugly things and smash them together, cock plus weasel, cock weasel, shit plus goblin, shit goblin, dick plus drizzle, dick drizzle. That's how you insult a man in a way he'll remember at his own funeral. Here's the recipe for a brand new cuss, you degenerates, body part, plus a disgusting little animal, crotch gremlin, ass barnacle, taint badger. Congratulations motherfuckers, you just cussed in a way that has never existed in human history. And don't you ever call a man stupid? That's for children. Call him a come brained fuck knuckle who couldn't find his own dick with two hands and a flashlight. Specificity you beautiful bastards, detail is respect. Advance move, sometimes the filthiest words are love. You magnificent bastard, you beautiful filthy son of a bitch, get over here you glorious twat waffle. In this family motherfuckers that's a hug. And when one cuss ain't enough, you escalate, start at damn, climb to shit and sum it at you absolute festering come trumpet. You don't just insult a man, you take him on a journey, you filthy animals. Now the bedrooms got its own dialect motherfuckers. Jesse's got 47 names for his own dick and not one of them is accurate, used to call it the Sacramento slammer. At 50 years old, it's more like the Sacramento Napper. Tonight's brand new cuss, fresh off the assembly line, you filthy bastards. Fuck Wombel, that's for a man who ain't just an idiot, he's ambitiously stupid. That fuck Wombel parked across two handicap spots to buy one lottery ticket. And here's the lesson under all the filth, you beautiful degenerates. Cussin ain't about being angry, it's about being alive. A good cuss is a little scream of joy in a world that's trying to make you polite. Jesse never learned polite, he learned filthy and he's happier than every buttoned up motherfucker in the room. Class dismissed, you glorious fuck Wombels, go forth and pollute the language beautifully, the hammer. Good night, you filthy motherfuckers. And that is our show. But the red line never closes every minute of every hour of every single day, a brand new comic steps up. And another piece of this man's dignity steps down 24 hours, seven days a week, fresh stand up, freshly roasted, never reheated. Can't sleep, we're up. Going through something, so is he, always. So come back, you beautiful degenerates. Go to bombed.app and let the machine make you laugh before the dark winds, the red line comedy club open all night because somewhere out there it is always Jesse's fault. Subscribe, he needs the attention. Good night.\n\n[THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.]", "fiction_notice_audio": true}