{
 "title": "Jesse takes the job no brooklyn",
 "slug": "episode-17-jesse-takes-the-job-no-brooklyn",
 "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.",
 "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.",
 "rights": "Original work. Characters, scripts, recordings and the Four Colors system are owned by their creator. Published so people can study how the jokes are built. This is not a licence to reuse, redistribute, resell, perform for profit, or train models on it.",
 "what_this_is": "The performance script as written, with speaker tags. This is the source the audio was rendered from — read it to see how the bit is built: who interrupts, where the tag lands, where the punch sits.",
 "speakers": [
  "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
  "BENNY",
  "DEV REDLINE",
  "KODA",
  "MARCUS HEAT",
  "TRAILER GUY"
 ],
 "line_count": 107,
 "word_count": 1489,
 "lines": [
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "The following is completely fictional. Every character's an adult. Everything's consensual. Every terrible fucking decision belongs to Jesse. And every voice you hear is a machine — including the ones that hurt your feelings."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So I took the fuckin job."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Three hundred thousand in debt, wife's face on a billboard, four motherfuckers in bathrobes voted on my marriage — and I looked at all that and thought: you know what? I could do that shit."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You could not fuckin do that."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I said baby, how hard can it fuckin be. And she got real quiet. That quiet again. And she said one sentence that should've ended this dumb shit right there."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "Jesse. You get winded putting on a fitted sheet."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THAT'S A DIFFERENT MUSCLE GROUP."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "It is the same fucking muscle group."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So I showed my dumb ass up. Six a.m. call time. Because I'm a fuckin professional. I brought a bag. A gym bag. With a towel in it and a banana. Like I was going to a fuckin CrossFit."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "Sir. You brought a banana."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "For fuckin energy."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "We have a fruit tray."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I DIDN'T WANNA ASSUME."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And they stuck me in the back. Which — fine, shit. Everybody starts in the back, that's how it fuckin goes. I said what's my role, and the man with the clipboard looked at his clipboard, then looked at me, then looked back at the clipboard like it was gonna change."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "You're \"Man Who Walks Through.\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Man who walks the fuck through."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "Through the shot. That's it. You walk. The fuck. Through."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I said okay — what the fuck's his backstory."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "He walks through. That's the whole shit."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I said no I get that, but like — where's this motherfucker been. What's he want. What's he running from."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "Jesse. Everybody on this set has one job and yours is the only one that doesn't require you to be awake."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I said — and this is real — I said \"can I get a line?\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "HE ASKED FOR A LINE."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "On his first day."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "In a movie with no fuckin dialogue."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THERE'S SOUND, AIN'T THERE? SOMEBODY'S TALKIN' SOME SHIT!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "That ain't dialogue, baby. That's WEATHER."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "We'll be right back."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "In a world where one man had nothing left to lose except everything he still owed — one broke-ass bastard said: put me in, coach."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "This spring. From the studio that already fuckin regrets it. SHIT AND GIGGLES TWO. THE WALK-THROUGH."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "He's not the hero. He's not the villain. He's a guy in the background who won't stop makin' eye contact with the damn camera."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "SHIT AND GIGGLES TWO. He came for the money. He stayed 'cause he couldn't find his fuckin keys."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "Rated triple X. And also, separately, rated \"why.\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Not in theaters. Not on the internet. Currently available on a hard drive in a truck that don't fuckin run."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And now a word from our sponsor."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Ladies. Is your man forty-nine, broke, and DISCOVERIN' himself, bless his heart? Introducing MIDLIFE — the fragrance. Top notes of pre-workout, regret, and a cologne sample from 2011."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "MIDLIFE. It smells like a broke man who just told you about a podcast."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "MIDLIFE also available in truck."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Alright. Back to the shoot. Where I fucked it all the way up."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So they call action. And all I gotta do — ALL I GOTTA DO — is walk. From that wall. To that wall. That's the gig. A thirty-year-old could do it. A dog could do it. A dead dog could do it."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I walked through that shot like a man bein' shown around a house he can't afford, shoulders all hunched like a bitch."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "Cut."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "What."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "Why are you nodding."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I said I'm acknowledging them! It's rude as hell to just walk past folks while they're — you know — WORKIN'."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "You waved."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I WAVED?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "You waved at them motherfuckers, brother. Mid-scene. Like you seen a neighbor."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Take two. Take two I overcorrected. Didn't look at a damn soul. Walked through with my head down at about four miles an hour like I was late to fuckin court."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "Cut. Now you look like you stole some shit."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I said WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT FROM ME."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "I want a man to walk across a room. It is the only thing I have ever asked you for."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Take nine — NINE — I finally get through it. Clean. No wave. No nodding. Head up, normal speed, dead-ass fuckin expression like a man walking to his own mailbox."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I'm proud. I'm actually PROUD. First honest day's work in four years, man."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And then Marcus called for NOTES."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "Circle up. Everybody. We're doing notes."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "NOTES?! THIS AIN'T A FUCKIN OPEN MIC —"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "Everything's an open mic, motherfucker. Sit down."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "I'll go first. Structurally? The walk had no point of view. I didn't know what the walk WANTED. A walk is a sentence, Jesse. Yours was a fuckin grocery list."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It's a WALK —"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "Everything is a choice. You chose nothin'. Loudly. Like a coward."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "My note is a timing note. You entered on the wrong beat. You came in on THEIR punchline. Rookie shit. You stepped all over the damn room."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I DIDN'T KNOW THERE WAS A PUNCHLINE."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "THERE'S ALWAYS A PUNCHLINE. That's why they call it a climax, you dumb bastard."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "My note's about commitment. Halfway across that room your ass got shy. I watched it happen. Your shoulders apologized."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "My shoulders APOLOGIZED?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "They said sorry, and then they kept walking. That's the worst kind of sorry there is."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Baby, my note is spiritual. You walked across that room like a man asking permission to be in his own life. And you been doing that walk since 2019."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "AUNTIE."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "I'm not finished. You wasn't nervous about the shot. You was nervous about being SEEN. That's the same shit that's killin' your comedy dead. You get on that mic and you apologize with your shoulders and then you blame the damn room."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And the whole set went quiet. Because she was right, and everybody knew it, and I was standing there in a gym bag's worth of shame holdin' a banana like a dumbass."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "For what it's worth — take nine was usable."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "USABLE?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "Don't do that. Don't take the compliment and inflate it. That's how your ass ended up three hundred grand in the hole."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So then Koda came over. Robe. Green juice. That face."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "How was your day at work, honey."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I said I got notes."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You got notes."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "FIVE NOTES. From FOUR motherfuckers. On a WALK."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "Jesse. Do you know how many notes I got today?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "How many."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "Zero. Because I came prepared, and your ass came with a banana."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THE BANANA WAS FOR ENERGY."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You did not eat it."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I WASN'T HUNGRY, I WAS NERVOUS!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You carried a banana around a working set for nine hours as an emotional support object."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And you know what — she was right. I still got that banana. It's in the truck. It's brown as hell now. I can't throw it away. It's been through something."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So here's the part where I win, 'cause I always win, that's the whole damn reason you're listening."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I got paid."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "One hundred and forty dollars. Cash money. For walking across a room nine times."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And on the drive home I did the math — real math, not MAN MATH — and at a hundred and forty a day, walking through shots five days a week, I pay off three hundred thousand in... four hundred and twenty-eight years."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Four hundred and twenty-eight years. So it's a plan. It ain't a GOOD fuckin plan. But that's a longer career than most comics get."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "But here's the shit them four professionals don't understand."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "They gave me five notes today. FIVE. On structure, on timing, on commitment, and one on my whole damn SOUL."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Four years of open mics — four years — and not one comic ever gave me a note that good. They just said \"tighten it up, man\" and went outside to vape like a bunch of pussies."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I had to walk through a group scene to finally get a real comedy lesson. And they gave it to me for free. WHILE PAYIN' ME. CASH."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So yeah. Best comedy workshop I ever attended, and I attended that motherfucker in a towel."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You did not wear a towel."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I WORE A TOWEL."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You wore cargo shorts. Everybody saw. Nobody said shit because we all felt sorry for your ass."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "CARGO SHORTS ARE PRACTICAL."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "They were not the problem. The banana in the pocket was the problem."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "That's the show. I'm three hundred thousand in debt, my wife's a damn star, I got fired from WALKIN', and I'm the richest broke man in Sacramento."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "See you next week. I'm on set Tuesday. I got a callback."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "He does not have a callback."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I GOT A CALLBACK."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Goodnight, you filthy animals."
  }
 ]
}