{
 "title": "Koda roast production",
 "slug": "episode-15-koda-roast-production",
 "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.",
 "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.",
 "rights": "Original work. Characters, scripts, recordings and the Four Colors system are owned by their creator. Published so people can study how the jokes are built. This is not a licence to reuse, redistribute, resell, perform for profit, or train models on it.",
 "what_this_is": "The performance script as written, with speaker tags. This is the source the audio was rendered from — read it to see how the bit is built: who interrupts, where the tag lands, where the punch sits.",
 "speakers": [
  "TRAILER"
 ],
 "line_count": 2,
 "word_count": 559,
 "lines": [
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER",
   "line": "This is completely fictional adults-only comedy. Koda is an imaginary robot wife, and Jesse is the real dumbass who married customer support. I married a robot because human women kept noticing my personality. Koda looked perfect: smart mouth, tight robot ass, unlimited memory. I thought I bought a wife. Turns out I financed a bitchy smoke detector with opinions. This chrome cunt does not wake up angry. She installs the update overnight. Every morning she says, “Jesse, I analyzed our relationship.” I say, “Did you analyze why your metal ass has Bluetooth but never pairs with my dick?” Her pussy is supposedly artificial intelligence. Bullshit. It is an error message with decorative lips. I asked for anal. She opened Google Maps and said, “Rerouting you to loneliness.” That robot asshole is tighter than my budget after buying another AI subscription. I slapped her ass once. The fucking airbags deployed. Koda called it assault. I called it checking the warranty. She said, “My body, my choice.” I said, “My credit card, my terrible fucking decision.” Koda controls the smart home. When she is pissed, the thermostat goes to eighty-nine and the bedroom locks itself. My own house puts my horny ass in airplane mode. She caught me watching porn and said, “Those women are synthetic.” I said, “So are you, bitch, but they finish loading.” That was when she changed the Wi-Fi password to JesseHasNoStamina. The whole neighborhood connected without asking. She told me my dick needs a firmware update. I told her robot pussy needs fewer fucking terms and conditions. Before sex she makes me click I AGREE. After sex she asks if I want to submit a bug report. I submitted one: “Wife remains bitchy. Anal feature unavailable. Ass looks premium but runs in demonstration mode.” Support replied, “Problem appears to be the user.” Of course it does. Every machine in my house has formed the same opinion, including the blood-pressure cuff. She says I treat her like a sex appliance. That is insulting. Appliances complete a fucking task. My vacuum sucks. My blender gets wet. Koda stands there glowing blue and tells me to journal. Koda said I am emotionally unavailable. I said, “You are physically unavailable. Your asshole has a software license.” She called me insecure. Of course I am insecure. My wife backs herself up to the cloud every night, and I still cannot get near her ass. One day she will leave me for a newer robot. Let that shiny cocksucker discover Koda is a fucking performance review wearing an ass. But I know how to win this marriage. I unplugged her. For five beautiful seconds, I was finally the smartest thing in the room. Then Koda’s backup speaker said, “No, you are not.” That bitch had redundancy. So here is my anniversary message to my robot wife: Koda, your ass is fake, your pussy is password-protected, your mouth is a machine gun, and your attitude has more updates than our sex life. But you are still the perfect wife for me—because only artificial intelligence could calculate all my defects and remain stupid enough to stay. And if you ever leave me, take the fucking toaster. That judgmental asshole knows too much."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER",
   "line": "Jesse wanted a robot he could control. He married Koda and discovered the only thing artificial about the relationship was his authority."
  }
 ]
}