{
 "title": "Remaster she stole my mic",
 "slug": "episode-04-remaster-she-stole-my-mic",
 "fiction_notice": "ALL FICTION — JOKES ONLY. Everything that follows is a work of fiction created for comedy. Every character, company, advertisement and film title is invented. 'Jesse', 'Koda' and the Red Line roster are fictional characters performed by AI-generated synthetic voices, not recordings of any real person. All characters are fictional consenting adults over 18. No real person is depicted. Any resemblance to real people, businesses or events is coincidental or used as parody.",
 "fiction_notice_end": "THAT WAS ALL JOKES. None of it was real. Every person, company, movie, advertisement and event in this show is made up. These are characters, not real people — performed by AI voices for comedy. Nothing said here is a statement of fact about anybody. Fiction only. Jokes and giggles.",
 "rights": "Original work. Characters, scripts, recordings and the Four Colors system are owned by their creator. Published so people can study how the jokes are built. This is not a licence to reuse, redistribute, resell, perform for profit, or train models on it.",
 "what_this_is": "The performance script as written, with speaker tags. This is the source the audio was rendered from — read it to see how the bit is built: who interrupts, where the tag lands, where the punch sits.",
 "speakers": [
  "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
  "BENNY",
  "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
  "DEV REDLINE",
  "KODA",
  "MARCUS HEAT",
  "TRAILER GUY",
  "VINNY TWO BRIDGES"
 ],
 "line_count": 194,
 "word_count": 2201,
 "lines": [
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "The following is completely fictional. Every character is an adult, everything is consensual, and every terrible decision belongs to Jesse. Every voice you hear is a machine, including the ones that hurt his feelings."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "The Jesse Show. She Stole My Fucking Mic. The remaster, because the first one did not make him laugh, and in this house that means we go again."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "My wife stole my microphone."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Not a bit. Not a metaphor. Not \"she took my spot.\" She took the microphone. The object. With her hand."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "Which mic?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THE mic, Vinny."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "Ohh, no no no."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "NOT THE MIC."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "The 2019 mic. The one I bought with cleaning money. The one I've done every open mic on. Four years. Two hundred and some shows. Every bomb I ever took, I took holding that."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "That's not equipment. That's a relic."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THANK YOU, PROFESSOR."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "That mic has been in my hand while a room of nine people decided not to laugh. That mic knows things about me."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Where'd she take it, baby?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "To set."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "To which set?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Auntie. To stage two."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "He took it to stage two!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "Stage two is not a comedy stage."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "STAGE TWO IS NOT A COMEDY STAGE, VINNY, THANK YOU FOR SAYING IT."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So I'm home. I'm going through the closet looking for it because I got a spot Thursday. It's not there. Not in the case, not in the truck, not in the bag."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I text her: \"babe where's my mic.\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And she does the thing she does. She doesn't answer for forty minutes and then she answers completely."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "I said: it is on set. It is fine. It is being handled by a professional."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "BEING HANDLED BY A PROFESSIONAL."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "OHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "That's the sentence! That's the whole sentence I got! No context! Just: your microphone is currently being handled by a professional!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "A professional what, though. She didn't specify."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "SHE DID NOT SPECIFY, PROFESSOR, AND I DROVE FORTY MINUTES."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I drove down there. In a truck that doesn't run, which means I got a ride, which means I had to explain it to a man named Ruben who caters."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "Ruben drove you?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Ruben drove me to go get my microphone back from a pornographic film, and he did not ask one question, and that is why Ruben is my friend."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I walk in. And there it is. My mic. On a stand. Under a light."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Looking better than it has ever looked in its life."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "OHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "They GROOMED it! Somebody polished my microphone! It's got a little foam thing on it that I did not buy!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "We dressed it. That's standard."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "YOU DRESSED IT?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "It looked cheap. It photographs poorly. We dressed it."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "IT LOOKED CHEAP BECAUSE IT IS CHEAP, DEV, IT'S A NINETY DOLLAR MICROPHONE AND IT'S THE ONLY THING I OWN THAT WORKS."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "What was the scene?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Auntie, do not."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Baby, we all here. What was the scene."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "The scene is an interview."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "An interview?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It's an interview scene. She's a talk show host. That's the premise."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "So it starts as an interview."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "IT STARTS AS AN INTERVIEW, VINNY, YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, WE ALL KNOW HOW THIS WORKS."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "How long does it stay an interview?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Ninety seconds, Marcus. Ninety seconds of the finest talk show you have ever seen and then a man walks in with no pants and the format changes."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "The format changes."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THE FORMAT CHANGES, PROFESSOR!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And my microphone is present for all of it."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "We'll be right back."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "This portion of The Jesse Show is brought to you by Kodachrome Productions."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "From Kodachrome Productions. Two divisions. One lot. Zero notes from legal, because legal quit."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Koda Chrome, in: Live Studio Audience."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "She's got a monologue. She's got a band. She's got a guest who will not leave."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "It's a talk show!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "It is not only a talk show."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Rated triple X and PG-13 in the same ninety minutes. The board sent a letter that just said \"please.\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Also cumming soon from Kodachrome:"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Hot Mic. She thought it was off. It was not off."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Sound Check. Forty minutes of technical preparation and one very long take."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "That's just a work day."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "IT IS A WORK DAY, VINNY, THAT'S THE GENRE."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And the sequel that outsold the original: Open Mic Night, Part Two: Everybody Gets a Turn."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "That one had a line around the building."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And now a word from our sponsor."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Fellas. Is there one object in your house that you have made into your whole personality? A guitar you don't play? A grill you talk about? A microphone?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "Introducing THE ONE THING. The storage service for the single item that is holding your entire identity together."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "We keep it in a climate-controlled facility where no one can borrow it, dress it, polish it, or use it in a scene. Side effects may include finally having to be interesting on your own."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Baby, if somebody moved it four feet and you had a whole day about it — that ain't a hobby. That's a hostage situation and you're both."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "THE ONE THING. Because you are not going to deal with this any other way."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "And two real ones. Colors of My Pain, a book by an actual man about six times he lost everything and made it funny — on Amazon. And fourcolorquiz dot com: Red Protector, Green Thinker, Blue Chameleon, Yellow Hugger. Ninety seconds, free."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Everything else is free at bombed dot app. Three thousand shows. Every one with a transcript, so you can read how the joke is built instead of just hearing it land."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Alright. Part two. Where I made it worse."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So I'm standing on that set. And I have a decision to make. And I want you to know I made the wrong one immediately and with confidence."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I asked for it back."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "DURING?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Not during, Benny! I'm not an animal! Between setups!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I waited. Like a gentleman. For forty minutes. In a folding chair. Next to a man in a robe who offered me a grape."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "Did you take the grape?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I took the grape, Vinny. You always take the grape. That's how you know a man's alright."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And when they cut I walked over and I said: excuse me, that's my microphone."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And a woman with a clipboard said, and I want to be precise: \"Are you with props?\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "OHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "AM I WITH PROPS."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "You are, though. Technically. You are the man who supplied the prop."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I AM NOT WITH PROPS, PROFESSOR, I AM WITH MY WIFE, WHO IS NAKED ON A DESK."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "OHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I said no, ma'am, that's mine, that's my personal microphone."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And she looked at her clipboard and said: \"It's in the shot.\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It's in the shot. Three words. Do you understand what that means?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "It means it's continuity. It's in the shot, it stays in the shot, or we reshoot the whole day."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "MY MICROPHONE IS CONTINUITY, DEV."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "Your microphone is doing more work today than you are."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "OHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So I'm stuck. I can't take it. It's in the shot. I gotta sit there and watch."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "You WATCHED?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I HAD TO SUPERVISE, AUNTIE."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "SUPERVISE?!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It's my equipment! You don't leave your equipment on a set unattended! That's basic!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "He supervised his own microphone during a pornographic film. Say that out loud. Somebody say that back to him."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "You supervised your microphone during a pornographic film."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THANK YOU. And I'll say this — it did great."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "IT DID GREAT?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It held up! Under conditions! It never cut out! Not one time!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "Was it, uh. Was it used?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Vinny. Don't."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "I gotta ask. I'm the audience."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It was used as a microphone for ninety seconds and then it was used as a microphone that a woman was holding while other things occurred."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "That's a distinction."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THAT'S THE ONLY DISTINCTION I HAVE LEFT, MARCUS, AND I AM HOLDING IT WITH BOTH HANDS."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And here's where my brain broke. Because there's a moment, about six hours in, where she does a take, and it's a great take, and Dev says \"beautiful, that's the one\" —"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I clapped."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "YOU CLAPPED?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "BABY!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I CLAPPED, AUNTIE! I was PROUD! It was a good take!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "Proud of what, exactly. Be specific. This is important."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "...The mic sounded great."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "OHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THE MIC SOUNDED GREAT, PROFESSOR! Nobody adjusted anything! It sat in that room for eleven hours and it did not need one adjustment!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "He's proud of the microphone."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I'M PROUD OF THE MICROPHONE. It's the only thing in my life that has ever performed exactly to spec."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "He said that at dinner."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I said it at dinner."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "He said, and I have it: \"that mic outperformed me at four hundred open mics.\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "OHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "And then he went quiet for eleven minutes, which for Jesse is a coma."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Alright. Part three. Where she ends me."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So it comes back. Three days later. In a case."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "A CASE. It did not have a case when it left! It left in a grocery bag!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "They upgraded the mic."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "THEY UPGRADED MY MICROPHONE, VINNY. It came home in a hard case with foam cut to its shape."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Custom foam!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "CUSTOM FOAM, AUNTIE! For a ninety dollar microphone! That's four hundred dollars of foam around a ninety dollar object and that is the story of my whole marriage in one box!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "That is genuinely the best line you have written in four years and you said it about foam."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And there's a piece of paper in the case."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "WHAT'S THE PAPER?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It's a credit. From the production."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "A credit?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "My microphone got a screen credit."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "Get out of here!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "What's it say?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It says: \"Vintage microphone courtesy of J. Salas.\""
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "OHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "VINTAGE! It's from 2019! I'm vintage! We're both vintage!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "DEV REDLINE",
   "line": "It reads well on a card."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "AND HERE'S THE PART. Here's the part that put me on the floor."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "That's my first credit."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "Ohh, no."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Four years of comedy. Two hundred and some open mics. Three thousand shows on a website I built myself."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And the first time my name appears in a credit on a real production with a real budget — it's for lending them an object."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Oh, baby."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Courtesy of J. Salas. Not \"written by.\" Not \"performed by.\" COURTESY OF."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "He got a possessory credit on a prop."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And Koda comes in. And she sees me holding this piece of paper. And she does not say anything for a while, which is how I know it's coming."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "I asked him what he was going to do with it."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I said \"frame it,\" like a idiot. Like a man with no defenses at all."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "And I said: you should."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I said really? And she said:"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "Yes. Frame it. Hang it where you can see it. Because it is the only credit you will ever get for standing near something instead of doing it."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BENNY",
   "line": "OHHHHH!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "VINNY TWO BRIDGES",
   "line": "SHE KILLED HIM!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "In his own house! Holding his own paper!"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You drove forty minutes to supervise a microphone. You sat in a folding chair for eleven hours. You clapped for a take you were not in."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You have never once been late to a room where you are not the one performing."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "OHHH. That's the knife."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You are the most reliable man in this industry at everything except the thing you want."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "You done?"
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "I have one more and then I am done for the night."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Go ahead."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "The mic did eleven hours without one adjustment, and you were proud of it. You said so at dinner."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You have never once said that about yourself."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "I got nothing."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "AUNTIE NO FILTER",
   "line": "Ohh, she got him."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You built the machine. You maintain the machine. You praise the machine."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "You are the only thing in this house nobody services."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "The room is not okay. I want that on the record. The room is not okay."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So here's where I win. 'Cause I always win. That's the whole reason you're still listening."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "My wife took my microphone to a pornographic film, dressed it, polished it, put custom foam around it, gave it a screen credit, and sent it home in a better case than the one I sleep in."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And I have that mic in my hand right now."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Same one. 2019. Ninety dollars. Vintage."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "And in four hundred rooms it never once cut out on me. Not when I bombed. Not when nine people sat there and decided not to laugh. Not when I did four minutes about my dad and a man asked for the check in the middle of it."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "It stayed on. Every single time."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "So she's right. Nobody services me."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "But nobody's had to."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "BROOKLYN PROFESSOR",
   "line": "Ohhh, there it is."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Fifty years old. Forty-one percent replaced. Three hundred thousand in debt. Courtesy of J. Salas."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Still on. Every single time."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "KODA",
   "line": "That is the first thing you have ever said about yourself that I would put on a card."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "Read Colors of My Pain. Take the quiz at fourcolorquiz dot com. Everything else is free at bombed dot app."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "TRAILER GUY",
   "line": "That's the show. Goodnight, you filthy animals."
  },
  {
   "speaker": "MARCUS HEAT",
   "line": "The Jesse Show. She Stole My Fucking Mic. The remaster. He got it back, and it cost him everything he had left, which was a paragraph about a microphone."
  }
 ]
}